Back in September 2024âwhich feels like a lifetime ago at this pointâI was laser-focused on one thing: my first Ashkelachian pop-up.
And girl, was it ambitious.
The vision was to be in the hollers of Madison County, where I would prepare an iconic feast featuring my brisket, fresh latkes, and bountiful Caesar salads. My friends were ready to help me cook, wait tables, tell stories, run food, all the things. We were tidying up the holler, figuring out parking, and I even rented a ding dang porta-potty.
And then, on September 26, my generous friend who was hosting the event called to tell me she had to cancel. She thought her entire business was about to go underwater because of the upcoming storm.
She was right.
Her business did go underwater. As did most of the town of Marshall. And the greater part of Western North Carolina.
Hurricane Helene...you bitch.
When Helene canceled the pop-up, I sank into a depression that left me feeling incapable, unimportant, and like a failure.
Was I being fair to myself? Obviously not. But thatâs the thing about depressionâit doesnât care about fairness, or big dreams, or even logic. Itâs there to make sure you canât see the forest for the trees. Itâs there to tell you that you were dumb for ever believing it could happen in the first place.
And even as I focused on my mental health and healed so much of that hurt, I still found myself hesitant to try something like that pop-up again. It felt tainted. Scary. Silly.
Back in December, I had the honor of doing a micro pop-up at a dear friendâs show. I served a cheeseball to her audience, and hearing the âmmmsâ and âwow!âsâplus the help of Wellbutrin keeping the depression at bayâmade me wonder:
Am I ready to try this again?
The answer came in an unexpected summer passion: grilling.
It became a way to connect with my Appalachian roots, and with memories of my Papaw and the community he built around a charcoal grill. I wanted to learn because I wanted to, not because I thought it would lead to anything.
But this Grill Mommy Summer has led to so much more than I ever expected.
Itâs given me new stories, new recipes, and new courage. Itâs been joyful and surprising and just a little burn-y (my Papawâs fingers apparently couldnât burn, but mine absolutely can). Itâs been tender. Delicious. Ridiculous. So much fun.
And now...itâs led me to my first official pop-up.
And more than just grilling dawgs, Iâll also have my very first publication there, ready for you to grab, flip through, cook from, laugh at, and maybe even tell your friends about.
Itâs a little grilling zine filled with recipes, tips, jokes, and stories, and I genuinely cannot wait to put it into your hands.
Iâm sure Iâll have plenty more to say as the event gets closer, but for now, I just want to say thank you.
To Allison and Aaron, the co-directors of ACR, for once again providing a safe space for me to feel seen and for reminding me of the power of community.
To my brother-in-law Ross, for always being ready to step in as my dessert chef.
To Caitlin, Ariah, Surrah B, Julia, Mellen, and Tricia, for each contributing your talents to this event in your own way.
To Craigy, who always encourages me to dream big and continues to be my favorite food tester.
And to the countless other friends and family who cheer me on through it all.
So mark your calendars, babes. Iâll see you at the grill. đ